10 years of coaching impact: Nicole’s story
My story: Nicole, EL1, Health, Commonwealth
Before starting coaching with Kim, I was working in an environment where I constantly felt I wasn’t meeting expectations. I struggled to feel that I was being authentic and, while I had passion for my work, I just didn’t feel like I belonged there.
My biggest challenge was imposter syndrome. I would freeze in action, and always had this underlying fear that I wasn’t enough. My self-worth was entirely tied into the approval of others and my success at work. I had this constant need to achieve a certain level to prove my worth to myself and others.
I decided to try coaching to enhance my leadership skills to achieve an executive position. What I didn’t expect is that it would lead me to finding my authentic self and thrive.
Things started shifting for me when I began seeing my success at work as separate to my self-worth as a person. I understood that, after you’ve done all you can in your sphere of influence, you need to let the rest go. I also realised I was becoming more authentic, and being the best version of myself made me more successful at work.
Since coaching, the biggest lasting changes I’ve made have been learning to lean into my strengths and enhance myself from a place of confidence and pride – rather than feeling I wasn’t good enough and forcing myself to fit. My team has also benefited through my alignment with my values and energy, which produces broader benefits to the section and branch.
If my colleagues had the same challenge, I imagine they’d ask these 3 questions – and here’s how I’d respond today…
How do I overcome fear of failure?
Separate your self-worth from making mistakes – we all make them, and this is how we learn and grow. Also, find an environment that nurtures and supports your personal strengths. Build your confidence from there to step outside your comfort zone.
How do I know I’m in the right role for me?
Find out what you value in a role. I.e.: what do you require to be successful? Is it flexibility, support from a manager, autonomy, etc.? Use those as a minimum expected requirement for a role.
Also, discover what you are passionate about and what scares you a little. Try to aim for a space you can work in that area; slightly uncomfortable and stretches you, but not terrifying.
Why do I keep feeling like I fail the same situation over and over?
There is a lesson to learn, and you’ll keep facing the same challenge until you learn it. Step back from the situation, try to analyse it, and understand what you’re meant to learn. Try to understand it from another perspective.
From Kim’s perspective
When I first met Nicole, she was an APS5 in one agency preparing to land an APS6 position – which she did. Later, we worked together when she was an EL1 in another agency preparing for acting stints at the EL2 level.
In our initial coaching sessions I could see Nicole was struggling with imposter syndrome. She had all the skills and capabilities to do the work she was doing, though she couldn’t see it. Her confidence was easily shaken and she felt like she didn’t belong, even though she was incredibly passionate about the work itself.
Drawing on my strengths-based and values-based coaching approach, Nicole and I worked through values and alignment in depth.
You might ask: what makes a strengths-based approach better than a deficit model? What’s the difference and which is more effective?
Put simply, a strengths-based approach is leveraging your strengths to grow and develop as a leader. In contrast, a deficit-based approach is working out what you’re not good at and trying to change it.
Research confirms what we see every day in coaching: approaches that build self-efficacy and support goal attainment in real-world contexts are effective. The strengths-based approach can be very powerful, though it’s often misunderstood. And if approached superficially, it can appear like a positivity festival. When done well it’s energising, empowering, and leads to sustained growth as we see with Nicole.
Each certification I’ve gained over the years has strengthened my ability to apply a strengths-based coaching approach. More importantly, it gives me the flexibility to combine the right methods in the right sequence for each individual’s context.
Try this in your life:
- Start noticing your strengths in real time. Say, “I’m drawing on this strength while I work through this problem.”
- If you think you have no strengths, get yourself a coach ASAP! You need to slow down and get back to basics. What are you doing when you feel really engaged and connected at work? Questions like this will help you discover your true strengths.
- Once you recognise your strengths, map them against your values. What do you want your leadership to stand for? Knowing this becomes your greatest compass in difficult moments.
To discover how you could benefit from a strengths-based coaching approach, simply get in touch.